You know, the shitty thing about getting started so late in this game is that you can sometimes be unjustifiably hard on yourself.

I only began blogging/vlogging/tweeting in March this year as The Tech Nobody, and I was frequently subjected to a bit of self-bashing as I explored the towering accomplishments of all the others that got here before me.

You start wondering how you’ll ever reach their level. How could you possibly start writing blog posts about crap when a quick Google search reveals endless content published on the subject from three years ago?

Goddammit – why didn’t I start earlier?

Yes. I got angry. First there was frustration, then sadness, and then I just got angry. And I like to think that that ‘anger’ was really just an eruption of passion (not that kind) – to be a blogger/vlogger/social media master. I wanted to be a part of the cool crowd and get drunk at their houses when their parents were away on vacation.

I was angry that I’d let all these other people get a head start on me. I was annoyed at myself. And I let it annoy me. I would read other people’s blog posts with hundreds of comments, watch other people’s videos with hundreds of views and a mighty Rawr would echo from deep within me

Some might have said to me; ‘Oh, don’t be silly Hannah, all those people started online years before you, you can’t compare yourself to them.’

But instead I just kept staring at their comments and total view counts, just like when you’re a kid and one of your teeth is falling out and it feels really strange and kinda hurts when you wiggle it with your tongue, and yet you still keep looking at their freaking follower count!

Alright, so that was what the start of my blogging life looked like.

The anger has mostly subsided, as I reach a point where my progress is not entirely laughable. Not entirely, I said.

But it’s funny, just recently, I came across someone new online. Well, they’re new to me, but they’ve been doing stuff online for more than a year. And they stirred something within me again…

For some reason, I really badly want to beat them. Not physically, of course, more in a Michael Jackson wearing a keyboard t-shirt kind of way.

I want to be better than them. And I don’t think that’s entirely unhealthy, to be honest.

I’m not so psycho about it these days, it’s more of a normal competitive thing, and it’s having a big part to play in my current motivation levels. That’s got to be good right?

They’re perfect as the rabbit to my greyhound. Even though they started almost a year before me, they’re well within my reach – I could realistically catch up to them within a matter of months – with a bit of hustle on my part.

And, the best part is, if I do beat them, then, I’ll have the added satisfaction of knowing I did it faster than they could.

Is this weird of me?

Well, I’m sure I’m not the only person who’s ever looked up to someone in this creepy, jealous way – obviously, there must be some kind of admiration there, otherwise I wouldn’t want to be better than them.

I’m sure sports players have the same feeling towards their superior competitors – well, anybody of any walk of life. I know, personally, that in any race I’ve ever run, I’ve always focused on the person immediately in front of me, to keep me motivated, and I didn’t give up until I’d passed them…or, at least tripped them over or something.

I’m not worried about measuring up to the big-ass bloggers anymore. I’m more concerned about kicking the asses of the guys directly in front of me.

Just because.